


Protecting both your heart and mine

by shayzgirl



Category: Haywire (2011), Penelope (2006)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Time Sex, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Injured Character, Love Confessions, M/M, first time I-love-yous, reference to addictions, reference to movie canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 04:39:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shayzgirl/pseuds/shayzgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Johnny travels to Dublin, where an injured and unconscious Paul waits for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Protecting both your heart and mine

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic over a year ago and it's finally done. I always think of this as the most important story in the Johnny/Paul verse, because it's the one that's truly about them, together and separate, all the complicated and not-so-complicated headcanons I've created tend to revolve around this story. Also, this is my first time writing sex in a very long time and first time writing these sex acts, so be gentle, though con-crit definitely welcomed.

Johnny stood over by the window in Paul's room, looking out over the city. A few people were out and about, most walking but some driving, the Irish rain not deterring anyone from their tasks for the day. Johnny envied them a bit, wishing he could be enjoying his time spent in Dublin, instead of waiting in a hospital room.

"You're really unfair, ya know that."

He'd had some delusional hope on the plane that he being there would be enough for Paul to wake up. That he'd wanted Johnny there, that's why he was the emergency contact, that's why he was being called, that Paul would wake up for him. It would only be fair, since Paul stayed at his apartment, helping him pay rent, making him breakfast, sneaking into his bed at night (though Johnny knew that was really his fault, the heat having been turned off due to lack of payment and most of the spare blankets he owned were on the bed), and coming out of the shower in only a towel, Paul owed him. Paul could at least wake up for him. Make up for all the things he'd done to make Johnny fall in love with him.

"I still haven't gotten the bathroom door fixed after the last time it jammed. You broke it, so I think you should have to fix it. That would be fair. I wish you'd fixed it before you'd left. Or at least taught me how. Everything you've done for me. I don't know or understand why you've done so much for me, when I've never really done anything for you. I don't know why you stay as long as you do."

He looked to Paul again, part of him hoping Paul had woken up, the other half wanting to say so much more without Paul actually being awake to hear it. Paul didn't appear conscious, the machines were still steadily beeping, no change at all. Johnny sighed, looked down at his hands.

"And then you do leave, for your job again, you leave me and I hate it and I hate you. I swear each time that it's the last time, that next time I'll tell you to fuck off, find somewhere else to stay, but I don't."

Johnny began pacing the small hospital room, the room feeling too small and too big all at once.

"And then, then you have the nerve to put me as your emergency contact so I'm the one being called by some nurse in some hospital in Dublin. And I'm here, I came here for you and you don't even have the decency to wake up."

He wanted to yell that, yell at Paul to wake up but he knew it wouldn't work, would only get him kicked out of the hospital. He was surprised they'd let him stay in the first place. He was Paul's emergency contact, but he wasn't family or anyone important. He was just a friend. He walked over and sat in the chair by Paul's bed.

"Though, maybe it's better you're not awake because then you won't hear me say that I think I love you and have been since the first time you snuck into my bed, claiming you were cold. And I let you, not because I was tired, but because I knew it was all I would ever get."

He looked at Paul, really looked at him hoping that maybe Paul had finally woken up. He hadn't.

"The stupid thing is, if you wake up, when you wake up, you're coming home with me. You'll stay with me while you recover and even after, too. I know you'll probably keep working this damn job, because you're you and just as stubborn as me but I don't care. Home isn't the same without you."

Johnny wiped at the tears in his eyes, listening to the machine with its constant beeping letting him know that Paul was still alive. One of the nurses had told him to try talking to Paul, that it could help. He didn't actually think it did help, not Paul anyway, but he couldn't just sit there with the beeping hoping-praying-wishing for Paul to wake up.

"I'm not going home without you. Sure, I don't have the money to keep paying for my motel that I haven't actually stayed in yet. I think a couple of the night nurses took pity on me. Maybe I'll just check out and bring my one bag of stuff here. Why am I your emergency contact but I can't access your funds? I don't actually think I have the money to get back home, so you have to wake up. Don't leave me stuck in Dublin."

Johnny shook his head, starting to feel a bit stupid for some of the things he was telling someone who probably couldn't hear him anyway.

"I cleaned the apartment. I stopped gambling and drinking. Mostly. And I'm working on not smoking. Not very successfully. Sorry. Main reason I leave this room. Well, and for the bad hospital cafeteria food and coffee. Which I should cut back on, too, I know, but caffeine headaches suck."

Johnny took a deep breathe, trying to decide what to talk about next, needed to keep talking to fill the silence.

"I met this girl. She's… amazing. I probably could have fallen in love with her, if I weren't so hung up on you. She deserves better than me anyway. I think you'd like her. She's the reason I stopped being an idiot. I even convinced Sam to hire me again. He's a bit POed that I'm here instead of there but when I told him it was you, somehow he understood. Guess I don't shut up about you."

That wasn't entirely true. Sam had been one of his best friends before things had happened that had led to Sam not really wanting Johnny anywhere near the club. Since Sam had rehired him, they'd slowly been putting the pieces of their friendship back together. Sam had been keeping a partial eye on him, knew that someone sometimes hung around with him. Sam worried that someone would drag Johnny back down so Johnny had to reassure him that wouldn't happen. When he'd called to tell Sam he was leaving for Dublin, Sam had asked if it was for his friend and after Johnny had said yes, Sam had let him go telling him to be careful and come back.

"I think you'd like Sam. He seems to like you, at least from what I've told him. Though, I could be full of shit and you'll both hate each other. I hope not, though. We met gambling. I haven't really seen you gamble in a while though. You usually try to keep me from it. I just now realized that. Well, I'm not gambling anymore."

He plucked at an invisible thread on his jeans, letting the room fill with silence for a few minutes.

"Please wake up. I need you to wake up."

Johnny looked at Paul and nodded.

"Of course, you don't listen when I ask you something. Not even this time. I think I'm going to go get my things from that motel. You better be here when I get back. I won't forgive you if you aren't."

He reached over and held one of Paul's hands.

"If you're awake when I get back though, that would be entirely okay. I won't hold my breath, but... it'd be a nice surprise. Better than breakfast."

He squeezed Paul hand, before letting it go and heading out of the room.

Once out of the hospital, he lit a cigarette and smoked it while walking to his motel. He went straight to his room, finding his unpacked bag still sitting on the end of the bed. He sat down next to it and scrubbed his hands over his face. He'd been in Dublin for almost three days, two of which had been spent at the hospital being asked questions to verify he was who he said he was and that he didn't have any information on what had happened to Paul, and had only seen his motel room the first night dropping off his bag. He'd meant to only grab the bag and check out, so he wasn't wasting the rest of his money on a room he wasn't using, but suddenly the idea of going back to the hospital, back to sitting by Paul's side just sounded... frightening.

He wanted Paul to wake up but there was that little niggling of fear in the back of his head that was telling him that Paul wouldn't ever wake up. He tried to tell himself not to think like that but Paul had been in the hospital for five days after being found with a gunshot wound to his shoulder in his hotel room. Whatever job he'd been on hadn't gone well and that was Johnny's greatest fear. The only consolation he took from the situation was that he wouldn't be left in the dark, wondering if Paul was ever coming home. One day the phone would ring with news Johnny wouldn't want to hear but at least he would know. It was probably why Paul had put him as the emergency contact. He took a deep breath, before standing and grabbing his bag. He checked out the motel and made his way back to the hospital.

As he reached Paul's room, a man in a suit and trench coat walked out of it. Johnny froze, looking at the man who was looking at him.

"You must be the friend the nurse mentioned," the man said with an American accent.

Johnny nodded.

"I'm a... co-worker of Paul's. You can call me Coblenz," the man said.

"Johnny."

"Nice to meet you, Johnny. You're clearly not from Dublin. Paul's lucky to have a friend like you."

"Yeah, I guess."

Coblenz nodded.

"He'll be fine. I'll make sure of it myself," he said.

"And how do I know I can trust you?" Johnny asked.

He knew it was risky asking, he wasn't supposed to know about Paul's job, but he wasn't going to trust someone he'd just met. He was smarter than that. Paul had taught him to be smarter than that.

"I'm one of the good guys. Paul shouldn't have been in that situation and he's lucky to be alive. I plan on keeping it that way," Coblenz said, "And I'll make sure nothing happens to you, too. Clearly, you're important to him."

Johnny hesitated a moment before nodding.

"I'll be in touch. It was nice meeting you, Johnny."

"Yeah."

Coblenz nodded and left. Johnny watched him disappear down the hall and into the elevator before heading into Paul's room.

"Hey, glad you're still here. But um... could you wake up now, please? I know I shouldn't trust that Coblenz guy, but it would be easier if you were here, too, be my backup or whatever," he said, dropping his bag by the window and sitting by Paul's bedside again.

"I'm not going home without you. Not unless they kick me out. So, if you don't want that, you'd better wake up."

Johnny looked over at Paul and sighed.

"Jerk."

He didn't really mean it, but he'd run out of things to say and usually insulting Paul caused the other man to insult him back, though all of it in teasing.

"Please wake up. I need you to wake up. I'm not any good at this kind of thing."

The beeps were the only thing to answer him.

It was some time later, the light outside had shifted a bit from the dreary grey to not quite black, that a nurse came to check Paul's vitals.

"Still here?" she asked.

"I have nowhere else to go," Johnny replied.

"Really?"

"I'm from the states. I flew here for him."

"He must mean a lot to you."

Johnny nodded. The nurse finished checking Paul's vitals, making a couple of notes on his chart.

"I know its family only..."

"Don't worry about it. I'll make sure no one kicks you out."

"Thank you."

The nurse smiled before she left to check on other patients.

"Hear that? I'm not leaving. You have to wake up first."

Johnny reached over and held Paul's hand. Johnny needed him to wake up, needed Paul to be alive and whole and okay, to fly back home with him, curl up in bed with him, make him breakfast, drag him to the park or sit him down at his piano and ask him to play.

Johnny wiped at the tears leaving wet tracks on his cheeks, but more fell. He'd never realized just how much of his life involved Paul, how much he'd been missing him, how much would be missing if Paul never woke up.

"You've never left me. No matter how bad things were, how bad I was, you didn't leave when everyone else had. You were there that night, when I almost got into a fight with Max. You pulled me away and practically dragged my drunk ass home. You never scolded me or tried to tell me I was wasting my life. Others did. Sam did. That's the real reason he didn't want me around the club anymore. He told me I needed to get my shit together and I told him to fuck off. He gave up on me after that. But you haven't."

He squeezed at Paul's hand, wanting him to wake up from the sheer force of it, to grip his hand back and tell him it was okay.

"I've lived somehow while you've been gone, but I think it was only because in the back of my head, you were coming back. You have to come back. I don't know how I'll function with the knowledge that you're gone and never coming back. Please don't leave me. Please."

When the nurse came to check on Paul the next morning, Paul was awake, startling the poor nurse. Paul motioned for her to stay quiet, motioning towards Johnny who was sound asleep in the chair by Paul's bed.

"How long have you been awake?" the nurse asked, in a whisper.

"Few minutes," Paul replied, voice a bit hoarse.

"You should have paged us."

"Didn't want to wake him."

The nurse smiled, checking Paul's current vitals and compared them to the night before and then giving her attention back to Paul.

"Do you feel alright?"

Paul nodded.

"How long has he been here?"

"A few days."

Paul looked at Johnny, shaking his head.

"Are you sure you're alright?”

"Yeah. I'll page if I'm not. Promise."

"Okay."

The nurse looked at him once more, making sure she wasn't missing anything, any sign that he was lying, that he wasn’t alright and once sure he wasn’t, left the room. Paul looked at Johnny again, debating waking him up when he looked as though he needed the rest. But he knew if he were in Johnny’s place, he’d want to know as soon as possible that Johnny was awake, alive and okay.

"Johnny," he said, reaching over to touch Johnny's arm, "Hey, wake up."

He shook Johnny's arm and said his name a couple more times.

"Paul," Johnny said, awake and realizing why, "Oh god."

Johnny stood from his chair and hugged Paul, who flinched at the sudden contact on his injured shoulder, but put his uninjured arm around Johnny anyway.

"I didn't think you were going to wake up," Johnny said.

"And leave you? Not a chance."

"You could have told me I was your emergency contact."

"Sorry. It was a last minute decision before this job."

"Were you expecting to get shot?"

Paul didn't answer, just held Johnny more tightly.

"Paul," Johnny said, pulling away so he could look at Paul.

"I wasn't sure what would happen. It was a different job this time. One I wasn't entirely prepared for."

"You could have died. I could have lost you. Do you know what that would have done to me? What this has done to me?"

"I'm sorry. But I'm fine. You're fine."

"You were shot! I'm in a hospital in Dublin because of it. That is the opposite of fine, Paul."

"Then why did you come?"

"Because I had to."

"You didn't."

"Yeah, I did. I couldn't leave you here alone. And I couldn't stand waiting at home for you, not knowing if you would actually come back."

"Johnny..."

"You didn't realize or maybe you just didn't care about how important you are to me."

"I know how important you are to me. This job was going to pay well, so I could stay home longer, stay with you longer."

"And what? Take care of me? Pay my rent? Make me breakfast? Why?"

"No. Well, yes, sort of, but also because I like staying with you, spending time with you, because I love you."

Johnny looked at him, taking a minute to process the words, made sure he'd heard correctly and that it hadn't been his mind telling him what he wanted to hear. Then he leaned in and kissed Paul. As soon as he'd done it, he pulled away and started to step away from the bed. Paul reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Johnny," Paul said, gripping Johnny's hand tightly and trying to pull him close again.

"You're oddly strong for someone who's been unconscious for about five days."

"Was saving up my strength."

Johnny chuckled at that, but didn't move any closer on his own.

"Johnny."

"I skipped a step there, I think."

"Did you?"

Johnny nodded.

"Start again?"

Johnny nodded again.

"Say it again, so I can know I heard it right."

"I love you, Johnny."

"I love you, too."

"You going to kiss me again?"

"May I?"

Paul nodded. Johnny leaned in again and kissed him, less impulsively than the last time. Paul's lips were a bit chapped, but Johnny didn't mine because they were warm and real and Paul was kissing him back because he could, because he was alive.

"As soon as the doctors clear you to go home, we're going home, okay. And I'm not letting you out of my sight for the next several months, got it?"

"Got it."

Johnny nodded.

"You know I would come home to you, even if you weren't waiting here for me."

"I would hope so."

"But you'd come anyway."

Johnny nodded.

"I'd probably do the same thing for you. But it's okay. We'll be okay."

"Will we? There was a man here, yesterday. Said he his name was Coblenz and that he's a co-worker."

Paul's jaw tensed for a moment.

"That's putting it nicely."

"Should I be worried?"

"Depends on what else he said."

"That he can trusted, that he wants to help, to protect us. That you shouldn't have been in that situation."

"I took the job, it was my choice to be in it. Did he say when he'd be back?"

"No."

"It'll probably be before I'm released. They're probably watching us."

Johnny nodded.

"Come here," Paul said, shifting on the bed to make room for Johnny.

Johnny sat next to him and Paul put his arm around him, pulling him close.

"I won't let anything happen to you. Whatever is going on, you're not a part of this. I won't let them make you a part of it."

"Okay."

"One more thing, if I ask you to go back home without me, you have to trust me. Okay?"

"If I have to, I will, but I won't be happy about it."

"Fair enough. I'm hoping it won't come to that."

Johnny nodded, leaning against Paul's uninjured side as Paul held him more tightly.

The doctor came to check on Paul's shoulder, make sure it was healing well. He'd been lucky that the shot had been up close and that the bullet had missed vital bone and muscle. He'd still have to do physical therapy to gain full movement in his shoulder back and avoid heavy lifting in the meantime. Johnny couldn't hide the smile, when the doctor told Paul it'd probably take several months to heal. The doctor wanted Paul to stay at least a few more days, before being released, especially if they'd be flying back to the U.S.

"Don't look so smug. If I can't work, we don't have money," Paul said, after the doctor left.

"Yes, we do. I have a job now."

"You do?"

"Yes. I told you that."

"When? While I was unconscious?"

"Yes. Guess you should have woken up sooner."

"What else did you tell me?"

"A lot. Like I stopped gambling and I cleaned up the apartment."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How'd that happen?"

"It's a long story."

"Well, we've got time."

Johnny nodded and began telling Paul the story, the rough nights of gambling after Paul left, the identity mix up with Lemon, and what a dick Edward was. He'd begun talking about Penelope and stopped, staring down at his hands.

"You fell in love with her," Paul said.

"No, but I could have, maybe, if things were different."

Paul smiled. Johnny shook his head and started to continue his story but was soon interrupted.

"Knock knock," Coblenz said, standing at the door.

Johnny looked between Coblenz and Paul.

"Good to see you awake," Coblenz said.

Paul nodded, jaw clenched.

"You don't trust me," Coblenz said.

"Given what this job has become, what reason do I have to trust you?"

"Kenneth and Kane think you're dead. I'm going to make sure it stays that way as long as possible. Would be easier if you weren't in a hospital in Dublin."

"The doctor won't release me for a few more days."

"I'll fix that. If there's any chance you can, be on a plane back to the U.S. by tomorrow night. Make sure to use aliases."

"Of course. We leave Dublin, and you'll make sure no one comes after us?"

"Yes."

Paul looked at Johnny, obviously thinking about what to do, wanting Johnny safe above all else.

"Okay."

"Good. I'll talk to the doctor and make sure you're discharged by tonight. Be on a plane by tomorrow night."

Paul nodded. Coblenz looked between Paul and Johnny, before leaving the room.

"Are you sure about this?" Johnny asked.

"No, but he's right, about us being safer away from here."

"He said to use aliases."

"Yes. Both of us. If anyone else knows you're here for me, it's best they don't know you're leaving. Unless we don't travel together."

"How not together would it have to be?"

"You take one flight, I take another."

"I'll have to leave eventually. Foreigner can't stay in Dublin forever."

"I'm betting Coblenz will have that covered."

Johnny nodded.

"I said I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know. I trust you."

"That's a rare thing in this job."

"Well then it's a good thing I'm not a part of the job."

Paul smiled and motioned for Johnny to come to him. Johnny stood up and sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"I love you," Paul said, holding Johnny's hands in his, "I was really going to use the money from this job to stay with you longer so I could convince you and show you how I felt."

"And what? Seduce me?"

"Yes."

Johnny smiled.

"You were already doing that by sneaking into my bed and making me breakfast and wearing only your towel after your showers. And also by staying when everyone else left, despite me and my baggage."

"You let me stay despite mine. Despite all this."

"Maybe that's why we work so well."

Paul nodded.

"I love you and I trust you and we're going home, to our apartment. Together."

"Okay."

Johnny smiled before kissing Paul again.

The doctor soon came to discharge Paul, advising against it, but when Paul insisted, advised that he see a doctor as soon as he returned to the states. Paul said he'd try, to which Johnny said he would. Some of Paul's clothes and other personal items had been brought to the hospital and were returned to him, so he’d be able to leave. Unfortunately, his weapons and a few other tools of his trade had been collected by local police and he'd never get them back. A small loss, compared to what could have been lost and he'd be able to replace them eventually. Once Paul was dressed and officially discharged, he and Johnny headed to a nearby hotel where Paul used one of his aliases to secure them a room for the night.

"This place is nicer than where I'd originally picked to stay," Johnny said, once they'd entered the room.

"I figured we deserve it. I know it's only a night, but I don't want all of your memories of here to be bad."

Johnny stuck his bag next to Paul's suitcase on the provided suitcase holders near the closet, before walked into the little living room area and sitting down on the plush couch.

"They're not all bad. The part where you said you love me isn't bad. Or our first kiss or the second one or third."

Paul sat down on the couch with Johnny and kissed him.

"The fourth or fifth or sixth," he said, kissing Johnny in between each number.

Paul continued kissing him, pulling him closer practically onto his lap.

"Paul," Johnny said, pulling back slightly, "Your shoulder."

"It's fine, I'm not straining it."

"Still. You shouldn't even be out of the hospital yet. I don't want something to happen to you."

"It won't, I promise."

"You've taken care of me. Let me take care of you."

"Okay."

Johnny kissed him once more and then stood up.

"I'm going to order room service. I've had nothing but hospital food and airplane food."

"I'll eat whatever you order."

"Okay."

Johnny went off to look at the menu. Paul sat back on the couch and watched him. He knew Johnny was right, he'd only barely been allowed out of the hospital, he needed to be careful, but he'd been in love with Johnny for a while and had thought he would have to seduce Johnny and show him that he loved him. He was glad to be wrong and he knew what he wanted. He didn't want something like his bad shoulder to get in the way of that.

"I ordered a couple different things," Johnny said, sitting down next to Paul again, "I wasn't sure what one thing was, but it sounds like it might be delicious. Or at least edible."

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I need to make a couple of calls about our flight tomorrow. We should probably leave in the morning."

"This is going to be a bit harder than me pretending to be Max, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I'll help you. We'll go over it tonight and I'll make sure you know it."

Johnny nodded. Paul gave him a quick kiss before going to make his phone calls.

By the time he was done, their food had arrived and Johnny had already started eating. He'd deemed both meals edible and seemed to be eating from both of them, so Paul did the same, eating whatever Johnny didn't. After they ate, Johnny went to take a shower. Paul waited until a package arrived with their aliases for the flight and looked over them. Johnny came back from his shower and curled up on the couch next to Paul, not asking about the information yet. Paul's contact in Dublin had made them a couple, which helped with a lot of the information that Johnny would need to know if asked. They went over it, Johnny listening intently and repeating the information when Paul asked.

"I feel like I should be concerned that you're good at this but shit at poker," Paul teased.

"This is easier. It's lying about who I really am, who you really are. I do that anyway. Sam thinks I met you in a gambling recovery group and that you work in some office and that you travel a lot for business, managing important clients. It's not like I could say I met you while gambling and that you're a hired assassin," Johnny replied, "The poker is part of the gambling, part of who I really am or was or both. You can't hide then, not really, because deep down you know that's who you really are, who others outside of the gambling circles don't know about."

"But that's not you anymore."

"It's still always going to be me, in some way I think. And a few people in my life are going to know that version of me. You and Sam are probably the main examples. I've had to prove myself to Sam."

"You don't need to prove yourself to me. Be you, Johnny. I fell in love with you, the good and the bad. That's not going to change."

"I think I could only ever see the bad about myself."

"You are a good person, Johnny. You let me stay, even when you had no reason to."

"I was selfish and didn't want to be alone."

"Well, neither did I. Plus, it was nice having someone to go back to after a job was done."

"Is that why you told me?"

"Yeah. Plus, I didn't want you to think you were as horrible as you thought you did."

"But I've never thought you were horrible."

"I know, but you stopped thinking less of yourself."

"How do you know that?"

"Part of my job is watching people. I'm very good at watching you."

Johnny smiled. Paul set down the information and used his good arm to pull Johnny closer, wrapping the arm around him and holding him.

"I'm sorry I put you in this position. I was worried about this job, but I was hoping it would go according to plan and then I'd be able to fly back home to you."

"I was mad at you for it, while waiting for you to wake up, but I think I prefer it this way honestly."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But I do think we need to come up with some sort of system, so that way I'm not terrified every time the phone rings when you're gone on a job."

"Okay."

Johnny leaned against Paul more, head resting against Paul's shoulder, right side and not the left, the left being too close to the wound that could have taken Paul from him. He couldn't hear the beat of Paul's heart, but he could feel him breathing, alive and real, his good arm holding Johnny just as tightly as Johnny held Paul.

"I love you," Johnny whispered.

"I love you, too."

Johnny drifted off to sleep, jet lag and worry finally catching up with him. Paul let him sleep, had been worried that Johnny hadn't slept enough sitting by his bedside at the hospital. It wasn't enough that he knew the information for his alias, he'd need to present it as though he'd said it a thousand times before and Paul knew being tired or distracted could cause problems. He knew they'd probably be safer, Johnny going home alone as himself, but Paul didn't want Johnny out of his sight and knew Johnny felt the same. If Coblenz didn't handle the issue of Johnny leaving Dublin, then he'd have his Dublin contact handle it.

Johnny woke up a couple hours later, rested and scolding Paul for letting him sleep especially letting him use Paul as a pillow, starting to argue that it could have caused damage to his shoulder, so Paul silenced him with a kiss.

"You can't use that against me," Johnny said.

"It works."

"Temporarily. You should be happy that I'm arguing for the recovery of your shoulder. I mean, if it didn't heal properly, you couldn't go back to work. Which I know you'd hate."

"You do love me then."

"Of course I do. You're not doubting that, are you?"

"No. Was only teasing. Thank you, for taking care of me and being concerned."

"Like I said, you took care of me, so I'm going to take care of you."

"Thank you, for that, I do appreciate it. But we're in Dublin and it's probably going to be a while before we'll get to come back or go on any trips. So, how about we make the most of it?"

Johnny looked at him, thinking it over. He hadn't been anywhere in a very long time, gambling away most of his money left very little funds for vacations. Paul was right, Coblenz hadn't said how long they'd have to lie low in the states and it would take a while for Paul's shoulder to heal.

"What do you have in mind?" Johnny asked.

What Paul had in mind involved not leaving the room, which Johnny was only a little disappointed by, until they'd moved to the bed and Paul had kissed him almost breathless while also divesting him of his clothes. Johnny had protested a bit that it was unfair, even though he'd seen most of Paul naked already back at the hospital, having helped him dress since it had been a tad difficult to dress himself with one usable arm. But still, if Johnny was going to be naked on their bed, Paul could be naked, too. Paul complied, easing off his sling and shirt. Johnny stared at the white bandage over Paul's shoulder, reached out tentatively to touch it. Paul had held that hand, kissed it and kissed Johnny, promising without words that he was still there and not going anywhere.

They couldn't do much with Paul's shoulder, neither of them wanting him to strain it. It had been a while, a very long while for since Johnny had been with anyone, Paul knew that or had guessed as much. There'd been a few people, even after he'd met Johnny, but not in while, not since he'd realized his feelings for Johnny. They started slowly, they had the time, and this was in a way new for them because it was them, together and in love. Paul kissed Johnny on the lips, neck, chest and stomach. He loved the small changes to Johnny's body, signs that Johnny had been working on changing, no longer as thin as he'd once been, which had led to Paul ensuring he ate at least once during the day. There would be time for more healing, for both of them. He could take care of Johnny while Johnny took care of him. Now though, he could take care of Johnny in a different way. Give him some good memories of Dublin. He kissed Johnny's stomach again and then one of his thighs, before placing his attention elsewhere.

Johnny didn't complain, quite the opposite, moaned and mewled as Paul sucked and licked his cock, giving himself over to the pleasure Paul was offering. He fisted his hands into the sheets as the pleasure built. Paul hummed at that, causing Johnny to shiver and moan louder. When Johnny came, he moaned Paul's name and it was the second best thing Paul had heard that day. He pulled off of Johnny's cock and moved back up the bed, lying next to Johnny.

"I... "

Paul smiled and kissed him.

"Love you," Johnny smiled.

"Love you, too."

Johnny kissed him that time, making him lie back on the bed. Paul moaned into the kiss as Johnny wrapped his hand around Paul's cock.

"You once told me I had very skilful hands," Johnny said, showing just how skilful that hand was.

Paul had said that, but he'd been referring to Johnny's piano playing, one of the few times Johnny did sit down and play his piano for Paul. What he'd said was still fitting though, as Johnny did something that caused a spike of pleasure. Johnny kissed and sucked his way down Paul's neck, nipping at Paul's collarbone before traveling farther down to lap at one nipple, making Paul moan again. Johnny smirked and did it again, hand still stroking Paul's cock. Johnny increased his strokes as he moved back up and began sucking a mark into the spot where neck and shoulder met. Paul came, moaning what might have been Johnny’s name but had been cut off by Johnny kissing him.

Afterwards, Johnny cleaned them up with a wash cloth from the bathroom, before curling into the bed with Paul, arms wrapped securely around him, while they drifted off to sleep.

They slept most of the night, Paul only waking once from the pain in his shoulder when he tried to shift positions in his sleep. They'd ordered room service for breakfast and Paul had taken a quick shower, doing his best to keep the bandages over his wound dry. Paul went over their bags, while Johnny looked over his alias one last time before they headed to the airport. Johnny only flubbed on one thing and was easily able to wave it off as exhaustion from the trip, claiming his wonderful boyfriend had dragged him all over Dublin for sightseeing. Once on the plane and safely on their way away from Dublin, Paul asked about Penelope, Johnny having never finished telling him about her at the hospital. Johnny talked; it was a good distraction from the long flight, from the people around them who gave them no notice or care. When he was done telling about Penelope, he leaned his head against Paul's shoulder and tried to watch the in-flight film. He'd eventually fallen asleep and when he'd woken up, it was morning and breakfast was being served. It wasn't long after that the plane landed back in the states. It took less time to exit the plane and gather their bags before they were back at their apartment.

"Home," Johnny smiled, dropping his bag on the floor near the door and walking over to plop into his favourite chair.

Paul left his bag by Johnny's and sat in the chair nearest his, too.

"Hey you," Johnny said.

"Hmm."

"Love you."

Paul smiled.

"Love you, too."

Johnny stood up and leaned over to kiss Paul, careful of his shoulder.

"I'm glad you're home. Safe and alive," Johnny said.

"Me, too. And I'm not going anywhere, at least not for a while."

"I definitely like that."

Johnny kissed him again.

"I'm going to be selfish for a little bit because I should be herding you to the hospital to have that looked at, but I just want you to hold me for a bit in our bed, in our apartment."

"I like that idea."

Paul stood and they went over to the bed, off in its corner near the little bathroom with its wooden door that jammed when the bathroom steamed up. Johnny curled up against Paul's uninjured side that arm around him, holding him close. He wrapped his arms around Paul, holding him just as tightly. Paul kissed the top of his head. They were home, their dingy little apartment, curled up on their bed, alive and safe and together.


End file.
